Defining Pet Peeves

DISCLAIMER: I, Michelle, am a serious nerd.  I worked at a Science Museum in High School, was on the debate team, and watched Star Trek. I own my nerdiness; I work my nerdiness. 

Each morning starts about the same way for me. I pour a cup of coffee, let my dog out, sit down in the den, and check my email. The first email I read everyday is from The Dictionary Doctor. That's right folks, I get word of the day emails. I love words, grammar, and sentences (see disclaimer above). Some of the words Dr. Dictionary sends me are awesome: otiose, sobriquet, malfeasance, etc. See, sheer awesomeness.

Now to the part that chaps my hide. I HATE when Dr. Dictionary sends me words that I a) know and b) feel like any reasonably intelligent person would know. The past 5 word-of-the-day emails have contained ramble, qualify, edify, cadence, and jaded. SERIOUSLY?!? Qualify?!?The only obvious thing to do today, on the 5th day of this lunacy, was to fire Dr. Dictionary and  switch to a better nerd-ery service. So take that, stoopid Dictionary Doctor!

Melware

Christmas was very good to me this year. One of my favorite gifts was my gift from Amanda, which requires a little back story. A few months ago, we went with the Yekrats to their cabin in Boone-VUL. While there, I discovered this perfect coffee mug.

Everything about this mug is perfect; the weight, the shape, the design, EVERYTHING. Thus started my hunt for a perfect coffee mug. It did occur to me early in the search to take the cabin mug and replace it with one from my cupboard. Brilliant! As it turns out, not so brilliant. This was Momma Yekrats FAVORITE mug we were dealing with. Taking it might have incurred a wrath upon my head more intense than the seven plagues. Momma Yekrats is awesome, but crossing her is not a hobby many pick up. So, alas, I am without a coffee mug, which remains true until Christmas. Then my oh-so-lovely-and-thoughtful Amanda got me this...

So yeah, it is awesome. I love that it is handmade and that my favorite image of my dog is on the side. Wait, what was that, where did she get it? Riiiight. Amanda's dear friend Melanie  is a ceramicist. She makes incredible things and I am lucky enough to be the proud owner of her work. Oh, you want one? Well you are in luck because she sells some here. Now go buy one, already.

oh the oddities...

I've been keeping tally of all the strange things we've been experiencing in Tennessee. (It is important to note that I've also been keeping tally of all the wonderful things here, but that is a different post.) While these two experiences endear the south to me, they also leave me thinking, "What the hell is happening here?"

First, while driving in downtown Memphis, we saw a sign tied to a fence which read "REAL HARD MONEY (901) 555-5555. I really wanted to call, for no other reason than to hear what was certain to be a hilarious description of real hard money. The only thing that held me back was an intense fear that "real hard money" was some sort of southern code for "for a good time call". 

Second, the Wal-Mart greeter working yesterday wore a very large name tag conveying that said greeter's name was Dimple. Seriously, Dimple? The only thing running through my mind in that moment was a large flashing question mark. No words, no coherent thoughts, just utter disbelief. Then I couldn't decide which would be worse: a situation wherein Dimple's mother chose the name, or that where Dimple decided to call her self Dimple. Either way, this is a very bad situation.

The back of your head is RE-DIK-U-LOS

We just arrived in Nashville, enjoyed a nice dinner, and jumped into our pjs. Our hearts are full from our time in Memphis. Some of the highlights include:

• heaps of joyous laughter from the cutest little ones,
  
• reunions with old friends with lots of laughter and lots of love,
  
• a delightful family Christmas program about the birth of Christ with costume-clad family members,
  
• food, glorious southern-food,
  
• 3 hour board games,
  
• and learning the truth about business socks.
  

Merry Christmas From The Family!

Visiting the Beauty Technician

Too bad Amanda's favorite stylist lives in Memphis. We all LOVE this cut and color.

Potatoes, we're breaking up

Today is officially Vegetable Wenesday. I don't normally need to designate a day to eat vegetables in my day-to-day life. However, you'll soon see why I did from the list below:

Things Michelle Ate on Tuesday:

• 2 cups of coffee
• apple
• banana
• Fried Catfish fillet
• Fried shrimp
• French Fries
• Fried Okra
• Sweet Tea (which likely contained 2 cups of sugar)
• Chili
• Chips
• Rotel (nacho-cheese dip)
• Guacomole
• Delicious Magic Cookie Bars

It is important to note that the apple and banana were a valiant attempt at a Vegetable Tuesday. Failure ensued shortly thereafter when we entered The Flying Fish. So, you see, last night when I got home at 3am (Thanks ladies!) my body sat me down for a little come-to-jesus meeting...

"You need vitamins, minerals, and fiber STAT."

I replied, "potatoes, okra, and avacados all have vitamins."

"Really, you are going to argue with me on this?"

" Well, I thought I'd give it a shot."

"Really? Are you serious?"

"I guess I should change it up a bit tomorrow?"

"Duh."

Welcome Home, hunny!

Friday, Amanda and I traveled through Atlanta to arrive in Nashville around 3pm. While waiting in Atlanta, we obviously needed to eat a meal containing all things southern. This meant a trip to POPEYES! The ordering process went something like this:

- "Welcome to popeye's, baby. Whacha havin?"
* " A number 4, please"
- " Spicy, Mild, or Nekked hunny"
* "oh, half spicey, half naked."
- " you eva had the nekked?"
* "umm-hmm"
- "ok, baby, it's going to be about 5 minutes for the nekked- you can wait
over there with those other nekked folks"
* "lucky me."

Our frist two days in Tennessee have been delightful and filled with good eats and good people.

Unconditional Love

Let me preface this post by saying that I should be packing right now. No really, I NEED to be packing right now. We will leave our home at the ungodly hour of 3AM, and if I were packing right now I might get that measly, unimportant thing called sleep.

The problem is I hate packing. Well, truth be told, I don't hate packing for packing's sake. I hate it because it reminds me of the tenth circle of hell that I will descend into at 5AM: Airport security and check-in. You know, the place where I stand in crazy long lines until someone can tell me my bag is .5 pounds over and that will cost me 350 bones. The place I'm ordered through, single file, slowly shedding all my outer wear while listening to Mrs. Fletcher who has never flown before chatter nervously about the possibility that she might miss her flight that takes off in 4 hours. I reach the end of that line, noting that my flight is in 25 minutes, and am greeted by some very large and masculine woman who gets to "wand" me in a way that makes me feel like a scared third grader. 

And just when I'm about to vomit on my underclothing out of fear and angst, I get to see signs of eagles, twin towers, and American Flags. I'm patriotic and those signs are fine, I suppose. It is the placement that makes me ill. Really? I'm suppose to believe this security experience is ensuring the safety of me and 100 of my new closest friends? (and, trust me, we are friends after this kind of trauma) If you were truly interested in our safety, ma'am, you wouldn't have made me DUMP OUT MY COFFEE before the sun comes up. That is never a safe move.

Anyhow, after that joyous holiday experience I run to my gate, pay 9 dollars for bad coffee, and finally arrive in to my seat on an overcrowded plane. All I'm saying is I must love my parents a whole lot to go through this and STILL be excited.

See you tomorrow TENNESSEE!

Wherein Life Teems with Excitement

Friday at 6 AM, Amanda and I are jetting off back to our roots. That's right, we will be spending the majority of this month in The Volunteer State.  I would be blogging about other things right now, but, to be honest, this trip is consuming all of our thoughts and conversations. 

We are excited to eat soup and play games with the Memphis Bunch, to last minute shop with the Nashville Gang. We can't stop thinking about the Christmas Eve party, the Christmas program where these cute kids dress up like wise-men, and watching movies in those AWESOME recliners my dad has. We can't wait to spend time with parents, god-parents, nieces, nephews, old teammates, and old friends. Too bad I have a 2-page to do list to complete before any of this happens!

Anyway, It should be a rip-roaring good time as evidenced by these pictures from tender-tennessee Christmases past.

Sharing the Wealth

For about a week now, Amanda and I have been listening to Christmas Songs on Pandora. However, their holiday selection is...err...limited. After hearing Let It Snow for the 19th time in one evening, I was on a mission. I needed new holiday music. And new holiday music I found. I can't recommend this album more. It actually sounds like music I enjoy, for only $7.99.

POP-stars

And this pop- star is much better than Brittany or Lindsay... Amanda and I are such big fans of Popcorn and have recently made the switch from that strange microwave stuff to the real deal. I can't recommend "homemade" popcorn more. We eat it so much, I've got it down to a fine science...

1. Preheat a deep pot on the stove over medium-ish heat (about a 6).

2. Melt equal part olive oil and butter in the pot, enough to cover the bottom. I use two tablespoons each for a big soup pot.

3. Place on test-kernel in the pot and wait for it to pop.

4. Once the test kernel pops, cover the bottom of the pot with kernels and cover with lid. About 1/3 of a cup kernels will pop about 4 cereal bowls full.

5. Shake often to prevent burning. When the pops slow to about one every 5 seconds remove from heat.

6. Salt liberally with plain old table salt. I find the it works the best, better than kosher or sea salt.

Voila! You've got a great snack that is healthier and cheaper (by alot) than its microwave counter-part. Oh, you are a fan of kettle-corn? No worries, just replace 1 tablespoon of the olive oil with Karo Syrup. YUM!

Deep Fried Holidays

The salient details about our holiday weekend are below. A more detailed (and illustrated) post is to come.

1. Frying = heavenly. The list of things fried this weekend includes: turkey, brussel sprouts, cheese, twinkies, and pickles. Thanksgiving will never be the same.

2. Should one wish, one can watch CSI at anytime of the day on multiple channels.

3. Some people want to make voodoo dolls of their family members. Amanda and I emphatically do not.

4. I have perfected Rum Punch (JUICE!)

5. Guitar Hero is fun. So fun that Amanda plays for 2 hours and thinks she's be playing for "a half hour or so."

6. We have a life full of amazing people. Our hearts are filled with gratitude and love for our California-family.

7. We will be in Tennessee in 11 DAYS!